Apparently you make a good broom.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
