he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
