Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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