Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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