I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
