that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Randomize
