It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize