Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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