dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My balls are so social today.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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