Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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