Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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