The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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