if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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