she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize