I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize