Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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