He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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