Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
