Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
