He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
