also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
