We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
