he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
