season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'd cum for enchiladas.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize