Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
nutella sex= disaster
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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