I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
