I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
