like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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