when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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