fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize