they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
