Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
