therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize