Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
