Someone shit on the floor
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
