Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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