I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
