He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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