Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
