They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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