she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
