I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
