there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
