You're so nebulous sometimes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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