Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
