Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
