He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
