did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i believe in u and ur pee
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
