the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
