Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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