I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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