Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
