Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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