Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
