Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Please, let me fuck your mom
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
