Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
