Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize