I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
