I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize